With my mother’s passing, I’ve been compelled to share my grief publicly. I’ve been struggling to understand where this drive is coming from and have spent a lot of time thinking about it. At last, I have an answer.

The thought of sharing more personal things on my blog started before Mom’s passing. It started when I began accepting friend requests on Facebook from people I work with. That’s historically been a no-no for me. I’ve habitually drawn these lines in my life across persona boundaries. Who I am at work would be different from who I am at church, which might be different from who I am at home. All of these personas are truthful but with an emphasis and focus on different aspects of my life.

My online persona followed suit. What I post on LinkedIn differs from what I post on Medium, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, etc. When I started accepting friend requests from people at work on Facebook, there was a moment of catharsis in knowing that some people were getting to know more of me. I had similar feelings when people from church stopped being “people from my church” and started being people I call friends.

That’s when I recognized my desire to be known. Don’t confuse being known with being famous. I don’t want to be recognized in the streets. I want people who are in my life to know me at a deeper level. When I journaled, I realized that I was journaling with the perspective that my children and other family members would read them and get to understand me more completely. I wanted them to know me, even in death.

My online writing has always been segmented based on my audience. My Medium articles have a technical bent. This blog often served as a catch-all for my entertainment hobbies (Movies, comics, role-playing games), but I never had a home for all the facets of who I am. That’s my new goal.

This space will be for all of the aspects of my life. One day, I might write deep thoughts about productivity. Another day, it might be a rant on parenting or combat systems in D&D. The content won’t be curated other than the fact that it’s about me, my life, and my perspective on things.

I’m not writing it for clicks or an audience. I don’t even track readership, and I have no desire to implement a comment system. It’ll just be me, sharing my life and my thoughts.

It’s possible no one ever reads it, but that’s alright. Nobody reads my hand-written journals, yet they’re still helpful for me as an exercise. I think this will be the same.